On Resting as A Skill

Dear Neurons,

The last few weeks have been busy. As the autumn season is upon us and the academic year is in full swing, there are more academic responsibilities, from teaching and writing papers to attending conferences. I currently also live partly between two countries and try to visit home as often as possible. This means a lot of work gets squeezed into long train journeys and early mornings. Last weekend was one of the first weekends in a long time that I had a full day to myself. I decided I did not want to work on any academic projects and wanted to take the day to rest. However, something strange happened: I felt quite uncomfortable the whole day and did not quite know what to do with myself.

One podcast explained this feeling almost perfectly to me: The Academic Perfectionist, by Dr. Roache. Here, she explained that rest, like anything we do, is a skill. By this, she meant that the default forms of rest we might lean towards, such as scrolling on our phones or watching TV for hours, might not be that restful. In contrast, truly restful activities, such as a long forest walk, dancing, or reading a good novel, require some effort or start-up time. Over time, if we have been in a period of strenuous work, we might even forget the activities that we used to enjoy.

Furthermore, there is also a strong cultural push towards what we consider rest. This might, for example, be a beach holiday or meeting friends at a bar. However, depending on your personality and preferences, these activities might not be restful to you. They might even drain your energy. Therefore, understanding what is truly restful for us is actually an activity in and of itself. If you are currently a student or a PhD researcher, rest is one of the key facets that enables you to finish these strenuous degrees. Thus, figuring out what is restful for you is important.

What did you enjoy doing as a kid?

One of the questions that might help you figure out what you enjoy doing is to consider what you enjoyed doing when you were a child. During our childhood, there were no direct external rewards for doing most activities, such as monetary value or prestigues. Thus, many of the activities we gravitated towards were intrinsicly motivated. When I consider what I enjoyed doing as a child two activiets come to mind. One is reading fantasy novels and the other was being outside with friends and playing games. I remember that I enjoyed exploring new areas, playing made up games, and mostly being with my friends the entire day. As I grew up I think most of the activieties that I do are spend alone, and I spend less time with friends. Furthermore, I still have reading as a hobby, but often the books I pick are related to work, for example on the hisotry of psychiatry. Therefore, dear neurons, when you ask yourselfs what you truly enjoyed before prestigue and money became important what were these activities?

Rest as Balance

Another important consideration when thinking about rest is to see it as an activity that can balance your day. Thus, if you spend all day seated in front of a computer, your form of rest should probably include some form of movement, as well as getting away from your screen. On the other hand, if your work requires you to move around a lot and be surrounded by many people, your form of rest might include spending some time by yourself with a good book. Thinking about rest as a form of balance has been quite helpful to me. I truly enjoy my work, but if I allow work to take over the evening hours as well, my days can quickly become unbalanced. Thus, when you consider your day reflect on which facets are currently under represented and then when you decide on a restful activity have it be in that area.

Rest does not always feel pleasant

Something I learned during the Vipassana retreat is that rest and taking a step back do not always feel pleasant. The interesting thing about rest is that it allows us to reflect. Therefore, if something has happened at work or in our private lives, these memories often come up during a period of rest. This experience might therefore not be pleasant, and we might even crave the distraction of work or non-restful activities such as scrolling on our phones.

This again brings me back to the first point of the article: rest is an activity that we have to practice. Furthermore, the thoughts and memories that come up during periods of rest are also things that we might want to reflect on. Even though it might seem that these thoughts are not present when we are working, they actually continue to play in the background of our minds. If we do not take periods of rest to deal with them, they can continue to distract us and actually make us less able to focus on the task at hand.

If, during a restful activity, you notice an unpleasant memory, just acknowledge it and put it to the side. Over time, you will get better at being fully present, even when your mind is not occupied 100%.